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Humour in my life

School Jokes
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Childish Jokes

A little girl walked to a pregnant lady and pointing to her stomach said. "What's that lady?'
Lady: `That's my sweet baby. i love him very much.'
Little Girl: If you love him very much, why the hell' did you eat him?'
Sent by:Shalini VIII class, Auden School, Bangalore.

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 Teacher: 'Which of the two travels faster- heat or cold''.
Student: 'Heat:
Teacher: `What makes you think that?'
Student: `Because we catch cold.'
Sent by: Vineet  VII Class, Nagarjuna High School, Hyderabad.
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When the teacher entered the class all the boys were standing.
The teacher said: `Now, all of you sit down except those who are absolutely dull and duffer?'
Al! the boys sat down except Ramesh.
Teacher: `Why Ramesh? Are you absolutely dull and duffer?'
Ramesh: `No sir. The thing is that you were standing alone and it did n't look good to me:
Sent by:Chaitanya, IX Class, Vidya Vardhaka Sangha, Bangalore.
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little girls  were discussing their arithmetic lessons.
"why do we always stop our multiplication tables at 12?"
The other had the answer. "Because it's unlucky to have 13 at table
 
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Rajesh: I'm having a party next Saturday. Would you like to come?
Arun:"Yes rather!What is the number of your house?"
Rajesh: Sixty - seven, J.P Road. Just press the buzzer with your elbow."
Arun: "Why can't I press it with my finger?
Rajesh: Well, your"re not coming empty - handed, are you?
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Sunil: What did the bald man say when he received a comb for his birthday?
Ram: I don't know, what did he say?
Sunil: Thanks very much, I'll never part with it.
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Som: What is the greatest race on the earth?
Sam : The Derby?
Som: No.
Sam: The Grand - National?
Som: No.
Sam: I give up. Then what is the greatest race in the world?.
Som: (Laughing ) The human race !
Sam : I don't know why you're laughing . you're not in it!
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Raj: Can I borrow that book of yours-- "How to become A Millionaire?"
Sundar :"Sure Here you are." Som: "Thanks - but half the pages are missing."
Raj: " What's the matter? Isn't half a million enough for you?"
 
 
Q: What's the name of the most dangerous city?
A: Electricity!
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Q: What is the computer's favorite dance?
A: Disk-o.
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Q: How would you look if you were bald?
A: I would look with my eyes.
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Q: Why couldn't the flower ride the bike?
A: Because it had lost its petals.
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Q: How did the frog die?
A: It croaked!
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A boy's Mom asks him, "Honey why are you sleeping with a ruler?"
The boy replies, "I wanted to see how long I slept."
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Q: What should you do with a blue monster?
A: Cheer him up!
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Q: What time is it when the clock strikes thirteen?
A: Time to buy a new clock!
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Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay they would be called bagulls.
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Q: Why do cows have bells?
A: Their horns don't work.
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Q: What did the spider do in the computer?
A: He made a webpage.
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Q: What do squirrels do when they fall in love?
A: They go nuts!
 Q: Why did the ghost cross the road?
A: The chicken got hit by a 16 wheeler.
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Q: Why did the punk rocker cross the road?
A: He got his safety pin caught on the chicken.
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Q: Why did a cow go to Hollywood?
A: He wanted to become a MOOOOOOOviestar
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Q: What can you say to an annoying cockroach?
A: "Stop bugging me!"
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Q: What color is a burp?
A: Burple.
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Q: What kind of key can't open a door?
A: A donkey.
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Q: Why must two elephants go for a swim in the pool?
A: Because they need a pair of trunks.
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Q: Why did the gum cross the road?
A: Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot!
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Q: What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?
A: Pool table.
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Q: What do you call a cat who eats lemons?
A: A sour puss.
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Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer.
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Raveena: "Last night I dreamt that I was eating a giant marshmallow."
Mary: "Really?"
Raveena: "Yes, and when I woke up, my pillow was missing!"   

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