"In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."
-Woody Allen.
"My wife and I were happy
for twenty years. Then we met."
-Rodney Dangerfield.
"Ah, yes, divorce...from the Latin word meaning to rip
out a man's
genitals through his wallet."
-Robin Williams.
"A married man should forget his mistakes;
no use two people
remembering the same thing."
-Duane Dewel.
"When you see a married couple walking down
the street, the one
that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad."
-Helen Rowland
"Eighty percent of
married men cheat in America...
The rest cheat in Europe."
-Jackie Mason
"Marriage is like putting your
hand into a bag of snakes in the
hope of pulling out an eel."
-Leonardo Di Vinci.
"I don't think I'll
get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like
and give her a house."
-Lewis Grizzard.
"I'm the
only man in the world with a marriage license made out to
whom it may concern."
-Mickey Rooney.
"I haven't
spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."
-Rodney Dangerfield.
"The difference between
divorce and legal separation
is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money."
-Johnny Carson
Just when I got all the answers of LIFE
they changed the question...
"It's better to be defeated on Principles than to win on lies."
